my book of scraps . . .

book made from scraps

I made this book for collage class. I love the layered edges where all the different papers & cardboard show. The cover was a failed collage that I cut up, see so it really is made from scraps. I love this idea. It sort of feels like all my art is made from scraps of my memories. I can’t say it was my life, not the reality of my life, who knows really what that was, all I have are my memories & the meanings I gave to these events.

So within the pages I wrote snippets of thoughts like scraps of memories, songs, words, inspirations, they may make no sense but it would be incredible if anyone who read them just pieced the scraps of words together between the flipping of textured paper & scribbles & allowed these words to make a personal meaning of their own.

last page

For years, I have dreamed of piecing together a book of images, words, etc from my experience in Iraq in this sort of way, that wasn’t linear or even very clear, more like sifting through scraps of images, poems, memories, bits of stories perhaps unfinished. The reader/viewer would be a bit of a voyeur who found a box of scraps & pieced them together to give them meaning, personal meaning.

Let me know if you think this would be interesting. I think it is organically coming together as I progress in my creativity.

The image above is one of my photos from Iraq transferred onto a brown paper bag using matte medium, letting it dry and then rubbing off the paper with water & my fingers. The bottom one is on cardboard that I gessoed first. I love the gritty feel it creates. It’s as if a photo has been found from a century ago, hidden in a dusty, damp attic. I love imperfection.

peony transfer with added tissue

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Allow Freedom!

Allow Freedom

And the day came when I needed them.

When the battle was too big for me,

And the lawyer by my side.

I summoned them from the far reaches of time;

Legions of Mothers, Grandmothers, and all the Greats!

We shared this thing in common.

We knew the struggle to keep a child safe.

I called them forth for my little girl;

The baby I birthed,

The Little girl within me,

And every little girl throughout all time,

Who ever needed to be loved, protected and heard;

Every girl who ever needed the freedom to choose.

I gathered them into that courtroom,

To stand with me,

Arms linked,

Hearts connected,

Known, felt, embraced.

They came gracefully, elegantly,

Holding me with calm certainty.

I scrawled our intention in large letters and underlined, “Allow Freedom!

We didn’t come to destroy, conquer or ravage.

We came to defend and allow with love,

With Sofia Wisdom, empathy and grace.

We washed everything over with fierce

“Mama Bear” love of protection.

For one purpose, with one intention, “Allow Freedom.”

In our united front,

Madame Justice held up her scales,

The child was heard,

Her desire granted.

The judge proclaimed,

“I have never done this before,

I’m not sure why I am doing this now,

But I am going to allow the child to decide

Who she will live with and if and when

She wants to visit her father.”

{Silence}

Tears washed over the Legions.

They rejoiced in gratitude.

She was their child and this was

A victory for grace,

A victory for all they stood for.

A victory for all they ever desired;

For every girl to be heard,

Trusted and allowed the freedom to choose!

Freedom was granted on this day

For my little girl and therefore

For all little girls.

I wrote poem very quickly after sitting with such radiantly beautiful, soul-full women at the Sophia Conference in November of last year. The conference is hard to put into words but it touched, moved, shifted & changed me in so many subtle & not-so-subtle ways.

The court hearing was one of those magical, divine moments that today still seems difficult to believe. My daughter had been tormented and abused by her father for years and when I took her for the summer and stood up to him, he took me to court and this is what the court had to say about that.

Articulating this even in poetry is just one of the gifts that emerged from the Sophia experience.

If you are interested in attending next year’s conference in San Diego please get in touch with Laura Plumb at Deep Yoga!

I wrote a poem but forgot to share . . .

If you write a poem and forget to share it, what is the point? Right? I mean it may as well, perhaps, not exist, unless you let it fly & land in the hearts, souls or on the shoulders of others who are patiently waiting to hear what you have to say.

on the edge

I feel at times, that I’m waiting, expectantly to hear what you have to say, or share, a story, a song, a dance, a poem, a photograph. I’m so eager to know what lives in the depths of your soul that I often get a little too eager; which then leads to frustration, perhaps exasperation. I know it is there, swirling around in the depths of your soul just wanting to be seen, heard, acknowledged & loved; do you know it’s there?  Perhaps you do know this. Perhaps my pushing to see it is just really annoying. I can understand this because there are people I don’t feel safe enough to share everything with. It’s not just as simple as sharing or not sharing is it?

I mean it’s also possible you may not be ready to show that story, thought, or idea. That’s really and truly okay and perfect; but still frustrating for me, nonetheless. We all have our own comfort zones based on our demeanor, cultural upbringing, our past experiences, etc. You may be more comfortable with small talk about art or family. I abhor small talk, most of the time. Unless it is necessary & in the context of quickly connecting with someone in an elevator or waiting for your food to be prepared at a counter service restaurant. There are many times when I don’t really feel the need to dive deeply.

But, for those of you who know me beyond sharing an elevator ride beware because sometimes when we talk I try to lure the story out by sharing my deepest wobbly bits. Those embarrassing, potentially devastating bits and pieces that if they are not received with interest &/or empathy can sting or feel like a stomach punch. So I sometimes, tend to over-share or dive deeply too quickly for you; but it is my way of luring the stories, poems, thoughts, ideas, dreams, visions, desires out of you. It’s not that I need your stories as much as I love to be in that deeper space where the energy is visceral, alive & inspiring. It’s similar to the feeling I get when I walk & talk with the trees. Some sort of vibration is ignited within me, creating a much more expansive energy to dance in, with you of course.

I also know that there is great freedom that can come in living transparently. When there is really nothing to hide from or stay small for the dance becomes invigorating, refreshing & cleansing. Dr. Brene’ Brown talks about this in her work. She says that when we share our shameful stories & vulnerabilities with a safe person, that it diminishes the power the shame holds on us. Exposing it to the light destroys it’s ability to live on. Without shame, fear, hiding from the truth we can dance freely. Freedom feels so good.

I’m really all about freedom, that’s what the book I wrote is about, The Art & Soul of Dancing Barefoot; & that is really what I stand for.

So this is me holding my hand out, asking you to join me in a space of deeper sharing, creating, loving, existing, & dancing.

I’ll post the poem on the next post!

(suspense, intrigue)

BIG, luscious, Love

Katariina

scanning sunflowers

this is what i played with today!!! I’m so excited about this new process that is so easy. a friend recently showed me some images of flowers she had taken on her scanner that were so incredible i had to try.

after some experimentation & a little Photoshop touch up/spotting this is it!!! TaaaaDaaaa!!! can you tell I’m excited?

so if you want to try this on your scanner this is what i did, but it’s purely about experimenting.

step one:  I took a small cardboard box (all I could find) .

Step two: i put a hole in the box (no wait!! That wasn’t it, just kidding, if you got the joke than good on ya mate!, if you didn’t then ask me offline :o))

the REAL step two: i put black construction paper in the box. I sort of shoved it in there so it curved on the corners.

step three: wipe the scanner dust free!

step four: place the flower on the scanner & the box over the scanner hit scan and see what pops up.

step five: crop, darken overall image & do whatever tricks or actions you like in Photoshop or elements.

i love the depth & clarity of these images. the red bottle below is a tiny apothecary bottle that my sister, Kristeen, gave me. she gave me a few of them but this one is the coolest because of the tree of life. the brown bottle is just a liquid stevia bottle from Whole Foods. we grew these smaller flowers in our garden & then dried them several months ago ~ they just keep on giving!

next i want to experiment with other objects to see how they turn out. perhaps fruit, or utensils or who knows. if you try it, please share what you came up with. if you need any tips let me know OR if you have any tips for me. it’s more fun to create together.

in case you are curious or just annoyed, i’m writing in all lower case because i’m feeling childlike, giddy & free today! i wonder if it had anything to do with coming clean about melancholy’s visit last week? hmmmm, i love that dirty laundry.

red tree of life apothecary bottle

creative salmon . . .

girls in Pahoa, Big Island

The swift movement of Fall has already arrived & it’s still August, the month of doing nothing – the month where the entire continent of Europe takes off for their holiday. But just like Halloween & Christmas creeps in earlier every year. I am feeling the full blown energy of fall when everyone picks up the pace, starts moving faster to everything done for some unknown yet felt deeply reason.

This past few weeks Raine started school, we went to Austin (which reminds me i have some photos to share of my favorite city), I had tons of appointments, helped Larry prepare for audit, worked on putting together the new business & on & on. I have become one of those moms that runs errands, is in the car waiting for kids, juggling a schedule & so much more. Part of it is demand & part of it is all this new energy I have from juicing now for 2.5 weeks. Yipeeeeee!

I am accomplishing a lot. I am very “productive.” I can check items off of my list. But what is the cost?

I haven’t painted in 2 weeks, I’ve barely been able to blog, or even take photos. It’s excruciating. I feel a bit like a salmon out of water, flopping around on dry rocks trying to flop back into the flowing river of creativity. Help! Someone pick me up & throw me back in the creativity. Make this mad world of going, going, going & doing, doing, doing stop. I want to slow down again. I wasn’t ready for summer to end. I suspect I will find my new rhythm in this dry world filled with lists, time tables & drought prevention procedures. I don’t want to learn how to live in a drought, I want to splash & roll in the wonderful thirst-quenching, juicy-ness of dripping, creativity.

Last night i got a few moments in my studio & decided to try out some new textures on some old photos I had taken years ago. I got these textures from Florabella. I was a little heavy-handed on the opacity but liked them that way. so I just wanted to share what i came up with.

Ripe

riper

philippine's toe, santa fe, NM

santa fe, NM

Amalfi

pregnant with possibilities

Pregnant with Possibilities

Last night I started a 7-week telecourse  called The Keys to Feminine Power,  Awakening the Three Power Bases of the New Co-creative Feminine.  My good friend, Anna in Santa Fe took it & loved it enough to take the next & the next. I can see there has been a huge shift in her presence over the past year, so I decided to take it as well.

In this first lesson they kept saying that we were all pregnant with possibilities ready to be midwifed. It reminded me of this photo I took of Tawny back in 2003 or so. The fires had just burned around the outskirts of Temecula, CA & I had this vision of a pregnant woman amidst the burned trees. Luckily, I knew a pregnant woman at the time & she was more than happy to climb down embankments & waddle into the charred remains to creat this image.

It reminds me of the concept that even from the charred remains parts of my life have become I am still pregnant with possibilities – ready to birth.

 

love these thunder thighs

loved til the end

I painted this from a photo of me & then exaggerated the thighs a bit, not much, but enough. I love her audacious movement. I call it, “Loved Until the End.” she seems to be like someone with the confidence, strength & beauty to be loved until the end of time. I think she is definitely a member of the Clan of the Thunder Thighs but check it out for yourself. (http://heatherbarron.blogspot.com/ ) I’m not quite finished with her just yet, but I wanted to share anyways. I’ll keep you all posted on how she turns out.

The piece to the right is an assemblage I call, “Riper for Revolution.” It’s a swan tied to a silver spoon with wire & other doodads. I love doing assemblage & with this one started playing around with embossing metal. I made all sorts of designs, swirls, flowers, etc. It is fun.

 

ripe for revolution

 

I started this mixed media piece in 2004 & just picked it up again to work on it. The top squares are all photographs I took. I should take a few closer photographs so you can get a better looksy.

Remembering

That’s it for now. I just got into Santa Fe, NM, so I want to get out & see the enchanted city.