My heart was hurting yesterday and I just wanted to walk alone. The river was calling me   so I walked in that direction. It’s a short distance down rows of cottages, through the park with the pirate ship filled with laughing children, over the wooden foot bridge and into a quieter park where I found a patch of straw-colored grass under a fir-tree along the edge of the river.

I sat in the grass connecting into the earth below me, feeling Her supporting me, rooting into my own body and allowing the water drifting by to smooth out my heart ache.

A single Canadian goose glided up the river honking repeatedly. Then from the opposite direction several dozen ducks appeared from around the river bend. They sputtered, flapping their wings desperately before gracefully setting their little bodies in the cold water. I watched quietly feeling surrounded and supported by these ducks who seemed to have appeared at this very moment just for me.

I pulled out my iPhone and googled duck medicine. Lin’s Domain says this about duck medicine:

My suspicions were confirmed when I read this. They showed up just at this particular moment for me, to help me let go of my sorrow and be comforted by Earth, Water and Ducks.

A friend asked me later that day why water energy was feminine. I told him that ancient Chinese practices believe in the balance of masculine and feminine energies. Yin (feminine) and Yang (masculine). Yin is soft, slow, relaxed, diffused, moist, passive and quiet. The rhythms and essence of feminine energy are the softness of water, the mystery of the Moon, the blackness of rich soil and the deep silence of the night. It also shows up in the feminine’s ability to express emotions – emotions are watery by nature. Yang is fiery and direct like the sun. It’s steady and protective like a mountain or rocks. The masculine is laser focused unlike the elusive ever shifting watery nature of the feminine. (some of these ideas found/borrowed/learned here: The Yin and Yang Theory)

The two are complimentary and we all carry both energies within us. When I need to get something accomplished I call upon the masculine part of my psyche and when I am hurting and need healing my feminine shows up to be tender, gentle and nurturing. Lately, It seems I rarely have time for introspection or solitude unless there is some crisis or dramatic disruption, hence my walk on this day.

I am asking the masculine side within me to allow my feminine voice and vision to be heard, seen and taken seriously. Like a big brother who has always gotten the attention, I ask him now to take a step back and let his little sister have a turn while he supports her. I ask him to take her for a walk down to the river’s edge on a regular basis just to see who shows up, to be still and listen.