I’ve longed for 50 most of my adult life. I’ve always known myself to be a late bloomer and 50 always seemed like the time I would blossom creatively and finally fully occupy my body. This is the age I imagined I would finally settle into my skin, my face and truly see what this body is capable of. At 50, I knew I would no longer linger on false values of wanting to please others while betraying myself. Once I crossed that threshold, I would finally know that my true gift comes out of listening for my full-bodied-yes and easily saying no to anything that isn’t screaming yes! This is what I’ve known most of my life and now here I am 50 years old today. This is exciting!
My absence on this blog during my journey with breast cancer stemmed from a desire to be present with the process and not turning the journey and all the surgeries into a performance piece. I was honoring the sacredness of that journey and now as I turn 50 and I’m looking at the next half (give or take a few) of my life I want to be more outwardly focused. It feels like the season to be expressing my creativity here once again.
For this extraordinary birthday I am giving myself permission to just be me, follow my pleasure AND the disciplined structure to write daily. Instead of going about my day willy nilly, I’m shaking things up by giving myself the space to write for two hours each day. I set it in my schedule and sit my butt in my chair and start writing. My hope is that the two hours will grow to more but two feels like a significant time to begin with.
I started four days ago and so far it’s been really fun and exciting to see what comes up. My focus is just to get it all out, that may take awhile and then I’ll start putting it together into books or projects of all sorts. Of course there is no telling what will emerge – it’s a mystery!
Stick around to hear more about this new journey with writing and being 50!
Big Luscious Love,