Fabulous Trucker Hat by Jennette Nielson at Smashing Rubbish
I’ve longed for 50 most of my adult life. I’ve always known myself to be a late bloomer and 50 always seemed like the time I would blossom creatively and finally fully occupy my body. This is the age I imagined I would finally settle into my skin, my face and truly see what this body is capable of. At 50, I knew I would no longer linger on false values of wanting to please others while betraying myself. Once I crossed that threshold, I would finally know that my true gift comes out of listening for my full-bodied-yes and easily saying no to anything that isn’t screaming yes! This is what I’ve known most of my life and now here I am 50 years old today. This is exciting!
My absence on this blog during my journey with breast cancer stemmed from a desire to be present with the process and not turning the journey and all the surgeries into a performance piece. I was honoring the sacredness of that journey and now as I turn 50 and I’m looking at the next half (give or take a few) of my life I want to be more outwardly focused. It feels like the season to be expressing my creativity here once again.
For this extraordinary birthday I am giving myself permission to just be me, follow my pleasure AND the disciplined structure to write daily. Instead of going about my day willy nilly, I’m shaking things up by giving myself the space to write for two hours each day. I set it in my schedule and sit my butt in my chair and start writing. My hope is that the two hours will grow to more but two feels like a significant time to begin with.
I started four days ago and so far it’s been really fun and exciting to see what comes up. My focus is just to get it all out, that may take awhile and then I’ll start putting it together into books or projects of all sorts. Of course there is no telling what will emerge – it’s a mystery!
Trucker Hat by the Fabulous Jennette Nielson of Smashing Rubbish
Stick around to hear more about this new journey with writing and being 50!
Big Luscious Love,
Katariina
gypsy love cafe 
wahooooooooo!!!! This is what I hear as you dive in! Only it looks like diving into the most AMAXING bed ever – cozy, warm, inviting and oh-so-loving! It’s what I’ve always wanted for you!
Love you so much, Sister-soul! Xoxo
Sent from my iPhone
>
I like you thought the same. That when I turned 50 comfortable in my skin. Nope not yet. I am 57 and like you look younger than my age. I am finding at this late date, it is all a process for me. It’s Ok though, because I am learning more and more now and catching myself when I am being “willy nilly.” Happy Birthday and great Blessings!
Hi Katariina,
You’re an amazing soul. Congratulations on your big 50 and I hope we can stay in touch. Have you ever done NIA as a fitness mind body modality?
Maurice
>