therapy & a yellow umbrella

After my therapy session at the VA yesterday, I wanted to journal a bit about what we talked about & ponder some ideas – perhaps dive a little deeper into them. (I love my therapist BTW, she is perfect for her job & truly brilliant). We talked about a lot of things that have been difficult lately; how it’s hard to break through my depression some of the times, how it’s hard to switch from my right-brain-creative-space to my left-brain-time-to-prepare-dinner-&-take-care-of-the-family-space. Also, I just feel stuck in a place of not doing what I know I should be doing to have the experience I want to have – things like health, spiritual wellbeing, joy, etc.

yellow umbrella

Dr. Beckner listened & asked a lot of questions, but the question that sat with me in the end was, what has worked for me in the past? So I went to Antidote, a coffee shop near my house, pondering what has worked to shake me from a funk & i couldn’t stop looking at this large yellow umbrella outside the window. Next i noticed the couch i was sitting on was yellow & i couldn’t help but start photographing everything i noticed that was yellow. It’s now been about 24 hours & i’m still photographing yellow.

Oh & i thought of some things that have worked in the past that don’t involve moving to another country or state, or giving away everything i own & going to war.

Listening to Abraham regularly & applying what they teach has worked remarkably. Getting a clear vision of the life i want to live & seeing clearly the life i am living – the full, richness of it, the love & the depth of love & play in our house has pulled me out of the deepest funks in the past. Basically it boils down to focusing on what i want & not on what is not going well, or how blah & funky i feel. It’s focusing on what we have, what we have created, how juicy it feels & just relishing in that, has always worked well.

I had crazy scary dreams last night, actually more disturbing than scary & i woke with a distant feeling, as if a part of me was still in that world, not wanting to leave just yet. So i sipped my coffee in a spaced out state waiting for the nanny to arrive, then i went for a walk in the rain (as you know, i LoVE the rain).  I photographed yellow, got wet, savored the 85 plus degree air, all while listening to Abraham on my iPhone. I feel much better, i feel the shift.

Here’s my compilation of yellow (why yellow? I’m not sure except that I love green so much & can we know the fullness of green without yellow? Can we know green at all without yellow?):

 

yellow umbrella

 

yellow umbrella

the couch

 

another angle of yellow

 

 

yellow veneer

 

just a touch

hanging marigolds

 

near beer mosaic

 

birthday balloon

 

yellowing vine

sprayed yellow

 

yellow poles

yellow sea star

 

my rain boots

 

 

 

 

 

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2 thoughts on “therapy & a yellow umbrella

  1. Kateriina, This is such a beautiful, frank, heartfelt post. Thank you.

    I love your queries on yellow and green. It reminds me that everything is in relationship, even colors.

    How do you get that fabulous aged looked with your photos? What is the app you use on your iPhone that you were so excited about a couple of weeks ago?

    Thanks ~

  2. It’s sort of an Ubuntu of color, isn’t it! Green can only know itself because of yellow. Thank you.

    The app is called instagram. It may be free or just a few dollars, then there are all these options to apply to your image to give it the look you want. As you can tell, I’m loving it. If you use it just know that unless you change the privacy settings, every image will be shared with the world. I made that mistake (yikes!) but was able to fix it.

    Big Love, Katariina

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